Vice President Mike Pence has learned he won’t be President of the United States in 2020. Mr. Pence was hoping to take President Donald J. Trump’s place in the New Year but was saddened to learn that it’s not how Impeachment works. According to sources close to mother, the Vice President had to be let down gently upon learning the news. However, before mother was able to let Mr. Pence know the news he was caught by White House staffers whistling “Hail to the Chief” in the hallways of the West Wing. It’s unclear if the First family was made aware of the transgression.